well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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