idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize