I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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