it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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