do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
