Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
