if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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