she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
