just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
my liver is dry heaving
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
