the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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