dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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