I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Randomize
