...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
