youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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