When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
