He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
