That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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