Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
