you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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