she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
