i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
