Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
birth control should be required to get into college
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
