party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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