Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
