I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
