oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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