you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
