dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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