but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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