Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
