Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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