69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
