i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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