I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize