I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
and you fell through a lawn chair
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
