I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize