BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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