I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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