Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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