He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize