Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
