I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We have so much sex to catch up on
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
