I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
ttyl tear gas
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize