Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
you never un-have a 4some
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
