I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize