Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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