wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
