just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize