We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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