the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
