CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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