Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
