My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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