i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize