So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
