Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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