My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize