I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
