okay pat passed out under dana's car
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
