I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
