ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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