i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
