I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
