I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
