i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sorry about my life...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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