You just made me feel so damn special
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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