He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
