Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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