I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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