Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
