I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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